Anise, the Hideous New Girl
by Of Words and Thoughts
Summary: INEVITABLE ZADR. It is the beginning of a new school year at the local middle skool. And with a new school year comes new teachers, new classes…and new students. Well, in this case...one new student, actually...
1. Anise

**DO NOT WORRY, FELLOW ZADRIANS, THIS IS ZADR.**

**Summary:** It is the beginning of a new school year at the local middle skool. And with a new school year comes new teachers, new classes…and new students. Well, in this case…one new student, actually. And in a familiar clichéd plot move, the new student is…(drumroll)…a GIRL!! But in a not-so-clichéd plot move… she is _so not _a Mary Sue! Anyway, this girl causes some interesting things to happen…

**A/N: (chuckles) Wow…my first fic and I already try to make an OC! Adventurous me… **

**And don't worry, this **_**will**_** be eventual ZADR. And **_**no**_**, no one falls in love with the new student. But she **_**will **_**play an important part…(chuckles again) **

**-----**

Dib sighed. The summer had flown by too quickly…for him, at least. He leaned back in his chair and stared gloomily ahead at the blackboard. Other students started to file in through the door; some looked significantly different, and others looked unchanged.

Said 'others who are unchanged' included one annoyed-looking green-skinned black-haired boy.

Dib smirked as he leaned forward, the image of a bored teenager disappearing. _Tbis should get interesting, _he thought. Almost as if on cue, the green-skinned boy spotted Dib and immediately glared daggers at him.

"Dib-stink." Sweet and simple.

The game had started.

"Space boy," nodded Dib in reply. He raised an eyebrow as Zim narrowed his eyes at him and watched as the alien made his way over to his seat. _I swear, Zim, _the young paranormal investigator thought as he observed the Irken out of his peripheral vision, _that by the end of this year, I _will _have you on a dissection table with your body opened up for the world to see._

Dib's head snapped up as Ms. Bitters slid out stealthily from behind her desk. "Welcome back to another _grueling _year that will most likely end in _you_ being injured or mangled for _life _in some way…" She grimaced as she said, "And now, I must introduce you to a new student who will most likely be as _hopeless _in life as _you_ will be. Enter, Anise."

_Anise? What sort of a name is that?_

An emaciated, pale-skinned girl entered the classroom. She reminded Dib of a skeleton… if skeletons had brittle-looking black hair up to her shoulders. Other than her anorexic appearance, there was really nothing else remarkable about her.

Dib winced as Zim immediately exclaimed, "WHAT IS THAT?! IT LOOKS LIKE A FILTHY ZOMBIE!! A ZOMBIE IN NEED OF _HUMAN BRAINS!!" _

Yes…Zim never really was one for politeness. Nor for mincing words. It was probably because he had never ever seen anorexic humans before.

The Anise girl swiftly turned and gave Zim a deadly glare. But luckily, that was all she did. As if trying to restrain herself from maiming the Irken permanently, Anise turned back and gave the class a wobbly smile. "Hello." That was it.

"IT COULD SMILE!!" Yes, that was the almighty Zim.

Dib sighed in exasperation at the alien's exclamations. The other students felt differently, however, as most of the others were snickering at Zim's outbursts.

Anise's mouth visibly tightened.

Ms. Bitters, oblivious or perhaps simply not caring about Zim's rudeness, pointed Anise to a seat behind Dib. (That seat had been empty ever since an unfortunate…accident.)

"All right, class," began Ms. Bitters as Anise took her seat, "today's lesson is about how pets shall bring about the _end _of the world…!" The animal-lovers in the class started to sniffle.

---

_Fifteen minutes into the lesson_

Dib guardedly watched Zim, who had just asked Ms. Bitters a question about rabies. Zim's behavior after hearing Ms. Bitters had particularly struck the young thirteen-year old boy as suspicious. He observed his enemy through narrowed eyes. _I bet he's gonna use rabies in his next evil plan to conquer the world…_

"Hey," said a quiet, morose voice behind Dib. The boy almost jumped in surprise. He had been so absorbed in surveying Zim that he had forgotten about the girl behind him. He turned around and replied uncertainly, "Hi…"

Anise replied candidly, "Yeah, see, could I borrow a pencil? I forgot to bring one." Anise stared at him in an…almost…cold manner.

"Uh…sure…" Dib handed the skeleton girl a pencil from one of his trench coat pockets. He was about to turn back to face front when Anise muttered, "What's your name?"

"Dib." He was unsure of what to make of the new girl. _She reminds me of Gaz…_ he thought uneasily. "Uh…about your name. It's strange…"

Dib immediately let out an "urk!" as a pale hand shot out and strangled his throat. "Make fun of my name, and I _will _kill you…"

"I-I w-wasn't…m-making…f-fun…" _She is definitely an embodiment of Gaz! I wonder if Gaz disguised herself to come to my class just to make fun of me… gah, will her evil ways never end?! _

_Maybe I shouldn't point out her anorexic form…_

He sighed in relief as Anise released his throat. After a moment, she muttered, "Sorry. I just don't like my name. I don't know why my parents ever named me that."

"I-I…understand…" _Well, Gaz would never apologize to me…_

Ms. Bitters ranted on in the background as Anise said quietly, "I noticed you looking over at that weird green kid." She narrowed her eyes as she added, "You know, the one who shouted those…stuff. What's _his_ name, anyway?"

"ZIM'S NOT A KID! HE'S AN ALIEN!! GAH, WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!" The sudden outburst made Anise's eyes widen in surprise. Dib stopped, collecting himself, and slowly turned back to face front.

There was complete silence in the whole room.

It was suddenly broken by Zita. "Dib's crazy!" This, of course, was the cue for the other children to start laughing.

Ms. Bitters narrowed her eyes at the interruption of her lesson. "Dib, keep your mouth shut or you _will_ be sent to the underground classroom."

"Yes, Ms. Bitters," Dib replied, looking down. He _so _did not want to be sent to the underground classroom.

"HA! VICTORY FOR ZIM!" The Irken's voice cut through the room in an instant. Ms. Bitters glowered at him, and Zim nervously added, "Eh…I am normal…!" That was good enough for the teacher, and she continued the lesson.

Dib rolled his eyes in exasperation, and flinched as he heard Anise, who seemed to have recovered from her surprise. "An alien, eh? His name's Zim…?" The boy could actually feel her smirking behind him.

Dib kept his back turned on her and resisted the urge to shout. "_Yes_, he's an alien."

"So _that's _why you were staring at him…"

This time, the big-headed boy turned to face Anise. He was _very _surprised indeed at her reply, and for two reasons. "What…? You're not calling me crazy or any other insanity-related names? And what do you mean by that? Of _course _that's why I was staring at him! I mean, there's no other reason!"

Anise positioned both her arms behind her head and tilted back on her chair. "Ha, I don't exactly know if you're crazy or not. I don't really care if Zim's an alien or not." Dib glared at her, and his glare grew with a painful intensity as she added, "But are you sure you're only staring at him for that reason?"

"Well, _duh, _what _else _could I be staring at him for?"

"Frankly, I thought you had a thing for him," came the swift reply. Anise idly examined her nails as Dib's face contracted in shock. After about ten seconds of waiting patiently, the girl said dully, "Stop making that face and say something."

Dib shook his head as if to shake off something unpleasant and then stated plainly, "Okay, you have _no _idea how _wrong_ that is on many levels." However, he couldn't help sneaking a look over at the very Irken they were discussing.

Being the paranoid paranormal investigator he was, Dib had to make sure Zim wasn't listening.

Anise smirked once more. "Heh, how so?"

"Uh…well…we're both guys! And… well…we're mortal enemies! We _hate _each other! _How _could you even _suggest _such a _thing_?!"

"So what if you're both guys? And do you know enough about 'alien' anatomy to know he's a guy? Oh, and…you're enemies?" The skinny girl glanced at Zim in mild interest. "There _is _a thin line between love and hate, you know…"

"Well, I'm not gay! And…yes, we're enemies!" Dib pretended not to hear the 'alien anatomy' part. Yes, even though he had fantasized so many times about Zim being cut open, he had never really thought of looking at Zim's… 'thingy'… The thought made him feel queasy inside, yet strangely bold… _Curse you, Anise! _he thought miserably_. Curse you for making me think such perverted thoughts!!_ He also failed to acknowledge Anise's last sentence.

Anise chuckled in amusement. "Anyway… Dib…you have to admit, Zim's not that bad-looking."

Dib's eyes widened at what the strange girl had just said. "I'm not listening… _no_, I'm not…" He turned back to the front. For some reason, a light blush stained his cheeks.

Dib knew that he could never look at Zim the same way again. He could not even bear to glance at the alien without thinking of Anise's words: _"You have to admit, Zim's not that bad-looking…" _The paranormal investigator knew that Anise was probably just teasing him, but for some reason, it bothered him in a _very _odd way…

Dib stared furiously at the blackboard. _No, Zim is not attractive. I mean, gah! Who _is _she to say such a thing? He's an alien! An alien bent on taking over the world! How could a hostile alien be attractive?_

_But you know, Zim _does _have pretty eyes, _a voice whispered in the back of his mind. Dib's blush deepened.

_Pretty eyes… _he was pathetic.

---

Anise smiled sinisterly behind Dib. The seed had been planted. She gave a small, unnoticed "heh."

The plan was going perfectly.

-----

Uh-huh. My first fanfic, and I'm not sure what to do next.

How typical of me. Just typical.

**A/N: Anyway, I know Anise sounds similar to Gaz, and I know I might get reviews saying, "Anise is SO not an ORIGINAL CHARACTER!! She's SO like GAZ!!" Well, calm down. I know. Heh, this similarity may play a major part in the story later. Or maybe it won't. I'm still thinking.**

Oh, and any suggestions for my writing, I would be happy to receive. Well, that came out twisted. Lemme see: I would be happy to receive suggestions to improve my writing.

That's better.


	2. HE BLUSHIN!

Well, the second chapter is here! Oh, and I forgot to put the disclaimer on the first chapter. So here it is!

Disclaimer: Invader Zim and all its characters belong to me! Nah, just kidding. They belong to Jhonen Vasquez…(sighs sadly) Only Anise belongs to me. Bah…

Anyway, let's move on to the story.

----

Zim sat staring at Ms. Bitters, who was ranting something about animals taking over the world…using rabies and such—_Wait a second. _

He raised a hand in confusion. "What is this _rabies _you speak of? TELL ZIM!!"

Ms. Bitters raised an eyebrow at him and answered, "Rabies is one of the _worst _diseases ever _known _by humankind! It could be obtained from _filthy infected_ animals! Humans have _died _from it!"

"Thank you for the informative information you have given—wait a jumping jellybean, did you say it _kills _humans?!"

Ms. Bitters hissed at him, and Zim decided it be better for his life if he shut up.

"All right, then, as I was saying…"

Meanwhile, Zim was busy contemplating the information he had just received. _Hm…rabies… using it may not be such a bad idea…_Zim reflected. _Ah…yes! I could see it now…GIANT ANIMALS INFECTED WITH RABIES TAKING OVER THE WORLD!! HAH!! AND _I _SHALL BE THEIR LORD!! BOW, BOW TO THE AMAZINGNESS THAT IS _ZIM!!!! _BWAHAHAHA--_

Zim's inward tirade was cut short as he heard whispering voices from across the room. Further investigation deemed those voices to belong to the Dib-creature and that new girl… _Anees? Something to do with knees…_

Zim frowned as he observed at the new girl, who was already talking to Dib as if they were friends. _Filthy zombie vermin! _he though contemptuously. _Why does she talk to the Dib-thing as if they are…urgh…_friends? _Feh! What was her name again…Anees? Something to do with knees… _He was blissfully unaware that he had just thought the same thing twice in one minute.

The Irken's eyes narrowed as Dib suddenly blurted out, "ZIM'S NOT A KID! HE'S AN ALIEN!! GAH, WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!"

The alien in question was about to spit out a retort when Ms. Bitters beat him to it. "Dib, keep your mouth shut or you _will_ be sent to the underground classroom." Zim smirked in triumph as Dib looked down in embarrassment and managed a "Yes, Ms. Bitters."

"HA! VICTORY FOR ZIM!" Oops. The entire class, including Ms. Bitters, stared (well, in Ms. Bitter's case, glared) at him, and he added uncertainly, "Eh…I am normal…!"

Luckily, that worked for them. Zim sighed in relief as all eyes were drawn away from him. He rested his head glumly on one hand and, no matter how much he tried not to, his eyes slid over to the Dib and…A_nees_.

The two were now seemingly engaged in a discussion…which ended in Dib turning away with…_what? _

The alien watched in bewilderment. There was a light pinkish flush on the Dib-thing's cheeks…_the humans call it blushing, do they not? _Zim remembered a certain program he had watched with Gir…

_Zim sighed and tapped his fingers on the couch. "Gir, when does this program end?_

_"Hush, the good part's beginning!!" Gir gazed at the television intensely._

_The boy on the screen looked down as if embarrassed and whispered, "I love you." There was a strange pinkish tinge on his cheeks. _

_Gir squealed, "Aww, how sweet!!"_

_Zim, his finger-tapping slowing down, leaned forward in interest. Scrutinizing the boy's face closely, he asked, "Gir, what is that…pink thing on his face?"_

_"HE BLUSHIN'!!!" shrieked Gir gleefully. "HE BLUSHIN'!!" _

_"Blush? What is this 'blush' you talk of? Is it harmful to humans??"_

_"No-o…" The robot looked up at him with large cyan eyes. "He blushin' cuz he feel weird!!"_

_Seeing that his master was still confused, Gir decided to make his definition a bit clearer. He stood up and declared, "Blushin' has sumthing to do wit lurve!!" That said, the cyan-eyed robot lied back down and watched the show. Zim stared at his 'robot slave'. _

_Lurve?_

_Yes…love. That pathetic human emotion._

The green Irken was confused as to why the Dib was blushing. _If blushing has something to do with love, then…does that mean the Dib-worm loves that weird zombie girl?!_

Zim widened his eyes at the realization and he actually drew his knees to his chest in horror. He knew of the weak humanistic feeling called 'love', but had never really associated it with anyone he knew…especially his most hated enemy.

And now that Zim knew that Dib loved Anees, he didn't know what to think.

_Hm…_Zim slowly put his feet back on the ground. _Love _is _a weak emotion… AHA! I could use it against the Dib!!!_ Overcoming his horror at realizing Dib's "love", the horribly disguised alien leered. _Yes…I could use it against the Dib-creature…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Unfortunately, Zim had made the mistake of laughing out loud.

All eyes turned to him again.

_Oops._

---

_Lunchtime_

Anise stared doubtfully at the brown muck on her tray as she made her way over to an empty table. She was not social. Associating with Dib had simply been part of the plan…

And yet…the skeletal girl halted as she glimpsed Dib just a few tables away. He was talking…well, it looked more like ranting, really…to a purple-haired girl playing a Gameslave 2 next to him. _Heh… _Anise thought. _Gaz._

Abandoning the table she had just chosen, Anise walked over to Dib's table and stood behind Dib. "Hey."

Dib, who had a spoon full of peas in his mouth, choked in astonishment. He coughed out the offending peas into a tissue, turned around and pointedly glared at Anise. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

"Whatever." Anise propped her tray down on the table and sat beside Gaz. "Hello, Gaz."

"Anise." A nod of the head. Her eyes never looked away from the Gameslave 2 screen.

Dib, who was drinking a mouthful of milk, spat it out in astonishment. Luckily, the milk hit nobody. "You know each other?" _I really shouldn't be that surprised._

Gaz said nothing, so Anise supplied the answer. "Yes, we met just over the summer." No more details were given.

"I-I see." Dib drank the rest of his milk with, fortunately, no further accidents. Then he looked over at Zim.

Anise smiled and glanced over at Zim as well, who was a few tables away. He was absorbed in thoroughly examining his food. However, as soon as Dib's eyes were on him, the Irken broke away from his food examination and met Dib's gaze glare for glare.

The skinny girl inwardly smirked at this, and her eyes slid down and met Gaz's. For once, Gaz was looking up at her, eyes away from the Gameslave 2 in her hands. Anise nodded slightly.

A slight smirk formed on Gaz's face, but disappeared as she looked back down at her beloved Gameslave.

Anise then glanced at both boys engrossed in their little glaring contest and smiled in amusement. _This was too easy._

_----_

I know, the end of the chapter probably did not make any sense. But patience! All will be explained…soon enough, I hope.

Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and…uh…oh yeah! WRITING SUGGESTIONS! WHOO-HOO!

Yes.


	3. A Waste of Time

A/N: Uhm…okay, sorry for not updating in… um, days? A week? I dunno. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! It was fun writing it… heh…

----

_Dismissal_

Dib walked slowly out of school beside Gaz, who was _still _on her Gameslave 2 ("This is a_ very_ hard level, Dib! Interrupt me and you _will_ reach home with your arms and legs missing…"). His eyes combed the crowd of children for any flash of green skin and black hair. He had meant to plant a micro-video camera (it was in his hand right now) on Zim to see if—

"Hello, Dib."

"GAH!" The boy turned around quickly, his black scythe whipping through the air. "_Don't_ sneak _up_ on me like that!"

Anise smirked and replied swiftly, "Whatever." She glanced at Gaz, who was still concentrating on her game. "Mind if I walk with you home?"

"Uh…" Dib intervened just in case Gaz might take Anise's question as 'interruption'. "Um…" But what was he supposed to say? He wasn't sure if he wanted the skeletal girl who had, just that morning, pointed out the possibility that he liked Zim walk with him home.

Luckily, or maybe not so luckily, at that moment, a familiarly commanding voice cut through the air. "MAKE WAY, _PATHETIC_ HUMANS!! MAKE WAY FOR THE AMAZING _ZIM!!!_"

Anise and Dib (Gaz still focusing on her gameslave 2) both turned around and stared as the green Irken made his way through the throngs of students. "Get out of the way, GET OUT! DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU FILTHY, USELESS—" Zim's verbal abuse stopped as he saw Dib's pointed glare and Anise's mildly interested gaze directed at him.

"Ah! You're the ZOMBIE GIRL!" A black-gloved finger pointed at Anise in horror.

"Very nice of you to remember me," came the sarcastic reply. "You're Zim, aren't you?"

"ACK! WHO TOLD YOU MY NAME?"

"You were just shouting it a few moments ago, Zim," Dib cut in. He cocked an eyebrow at the alien. _For a supposedly advanced race, Zim sure can be stupid. _"Besides, I told her just this morning."

At the paranormalist's last sentence, something in Zim's face… showed. Dib didn't know why, but it bothered him. However, it soon vanished, and was replaced by an angry glare.

"What?! You DARE tell _her"_— here he gestured at Anise, who was examining her fingernails—"_my _name?! _Zim's _name?The name that will someday in the future belong to your lord, your future slave-master?_ My name?!"_

"Yes, he dared to tell me. Now come on, Dib. You promised to walk me home." Anise tugged on Dib's arm.

"Huh?! I—no, I didn't—" But his protests were cut short as the anorexic girl covered his mouth with one hand. Her grip on his arm tightened. "Come _on,_ Dib. You promised… didn't he, Gaz?"

Dib fully expected Gaz to ignore Anise, but to his surprise, his sister replied immediately, "Yes, he did. Dib, walk your girlfriend home." Dib's eyes slid over to Gaz, who, much more surprising, was actually observing the scene, paying no attention to the Gameslave 2 in her hand.

_Girlfriend? What? _However, Anise's hand prevented Dib from talking. "Come _on_, Dib," she repeated for the umpteenth time. The girl, so thin, was surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) strong. She dragged Dib away from the school, and Gaz followed, going back to her game.

Behind them, a _very _confused Irken was left behind.

---

Zim walked home, pondering on the scene he had just witnessed. Well, 'pondering' did not actually mean 'thinking silently.'

"What happened awhile ago shows that Dib-stink _does indeed _'lurve' that _horrible_ zombie girl! Hm…and his demon-sister called her Dib's… 'girlfriend'… that must be some sort of term for human affection… I'll have to do research for that. But the point of this is that the Dib _lurves _that…zombie…girl…thing…" The green alien did not know why, at that point, his chest suddenly felt constricted. It was the same feeling he had felt when he heard Dib say, _"Besides, I told her just this morning."_

"Feh…what right has _he_, the Dib-thing, to tell _her my_ name?" Zim marched down the sidewalk, but his march slowed down into sort of a plod as he muttered softly, "I shouldn't really let it get to me…"

---

"Well, that was a waste of time," commented Anise as she walked beside Dib, who was rubbing his sore arm. "Running into Zim, I mean."

Dib ignored her and turned to Gaz. "_Why _did you say she was my girlfriend?"

"Simple," Anise replied, paying no heed that the question was not directed at her. "She wanted to humiliate you in front of Zim."

_That made sense, _Dib thought. His response was, this time, directed at Anise. "And I suppose you wanted to humiliate me in front of Zim by saying I promised to walk you home…?"

"Pretty much, yeah." The skeletal girl kicked a pebble on the sidewalk. It landed underneath a parked car. "But I _still _say that run-in with Zim was a waste of time."

_No, it wasn't, _Dib said silently.

He needed to get home. The video camera planted on Zim should be recording everything he did by now.

----

Okay…I suppose that was _sort of _a cliffhanger…kinda. Anyway, writing suggestions. Yes.

I'm going to see if I could update…mm…next week…? I don't know…

Oh, and thanks to the people who have reviewed this story so far: Invader Ren-chan, thank you, and The Smallest Invader, thanks!!!


	4. Dib

Hello, hello! Now, I know I said I was going to update next week, but I may not have so much time on my hands next week… so… I'm going to update now…

----

_Dib's House_

"Well? Aren't you leaving?" Dib asked Anise pointedly as they reached the entrance of Dib and Gaz's residence.

"I _would, _but your dear sister has invited me to stay," replied the thin girl, chancing a glimpse at Gaz, who grunted. The grunt apparently meant, 'Yes, I did invite her, and if you say something about it, Dib, the end of your life _will_ come sooner than you expected.'

The young paranormal investigator chose to keep his mouth shut as he opened the door and walked in. Hearing Anise's bored comments about the house and Gaz's noncommittal replies, Dib called out, "I'm going up to my room, okay?" _No one probably heard me… _the boy thought dully as he made his way to his room.

---

_Downstairs_

"That _was _a nice move," commented Gaz. "And Zim's reaction…heh."

"I know," answered Anise, smirking. She lied back on the couch and tipped her head backwards. "You _did _see Dib put that micro-camera on Zim while he was ranting, right?"

"Yes…"

"I don't even think they need me…"

"But they _are _prone to messing this up if they were left on their own." Gaz opened her Gameslave 2. "My brother's completely idiotic, and Zim's not any better."

"…You're right."

---

_Dib's Room_

Dib stared at the computer screen. The video feed was loading…retrieving the data files… loading…loading… _gah, will it never— _Suddenly, the screen flickered, and then it showed the sidewalk from Zim's point of view…

_"_What_ happened awhile ago… shows that Dib-stink does indeed 'lurve' that horrible zombie girl! Hm…and his demon-sister… called her Dib's… 'girlfriend'… that must be… some sort of term for human affection… I'll have to do research for that. But the point of this is that the Dib lurves that…zombie…girl…thing…" _

"Huh?!" Dib stared at the screen in utter shock.

_Replay…_

_"What happened…awhile ago…"_

As Zim's voice resounded from the speakers, Dib finally managed to process the information the video feed gave him. "So Zim thinks I like Anise? I don't believe it…" he muttered. "Zim must be incredibly stupid or blind to think that. Oh, wait, he _is _stupid…and blind…"

_"…the Dib lurves that…zombie…girl…thing…" _There was something in Zim's voice as Dib heard those words. He frowned and was about to exit when the feed played on.

_"Feh…what right has he, the Dib-thing, to tell her my name? I shouldn't really let it get to me…"_

_What?_ _He really shouldn't get it to him? _

Dib's eyebrows rose as he murmured, "Oh… so Space-boy's bothered because I told Anise his name?" A plan began to form in his mind… but was he brave enough to try it?

The boy's mouth tightened as Dib fast forwarded the clip. He could see glimpses of Zim's weird green house, the green dog, and now… the lab. He slowed down and clicked play.

_"Hm…Gir may have ruined the pig experiment I was working on, but NO MATTER! I shall start on a new plan, an EVIL PLAN—mm, ZOMBIES!! Yes, zombies to TAKE OVER THE…zombies…the zombie girl…" _Dib slightly shivered as Zim's voice softened. _"Dib."_

Something about the way Zim said his name (and it wasn't just the fact that it hadn't an insult tacked up on the end of it) made Dib feel…strange. Almost…

"No, no, you are _not _falling for your enemy, Dib," the boy whispered furiously. He quickly exited the window and turned off his computer.

He didn't care if he had just missed the chance to know what plan Zim was cooking up right now.

He just wanted to get away from that soft voice whispering, ever so softly… _"Dib…"_

----

Ta-da!

Okay, well, the fourth chapter's done. It's a bit short, I know…

And, prettilitTLepoison, thank you for your review and your support of this fic. Thanks, also, to the other reviewers, once more! Even though I haven't got a lot… :(

Ah, well. I wrote this fic because I like to write, not because I need reviews.

Oh, and, yes, writing suggestions!


	5. And So the Wheel Turns

I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry! I can't believe I never updated in _months_…! Ever since summer actually…

So sorry so sorry so sorry! (hopefully) Will you take a cookie as a token of my sorry-ness?

…

Guess not… (sighs)

--

_The next morning_

… is he really going to go through with this?

Dib stared at the bathroom mirror with wide, frenzied eyes, shielded by his familiar glass lenses. He reached out a hand as if to stroke the glass surface.

"Am I really going through with this?" Dib wondered out loud. His reflection blinked back at him.

_Why, of course you are, _a voice piped up in his head. _This will bother Zim, won't it? And isn't that what you want?_

"Yeah, but…" And he stared at his reflection, who blinked back at him indifferently. "How would that even help me stop Zim?"

_Well, _the voice said, _it would certainly distract him. _

"But it could go the other way! It could encourage him to work even more quickly to destroy the Earth, just to have his revenge on me! _Me, _who bothered him! I don't want the Earth destroyed on my account!" Dib poked a finger at the mirror, eyes slightly deranged.

_Hm… but what else could you do?_

"Anything, besides that." Dib crossed his arms and glared at his reflection. "I am_ not _going to pretend to fall in love with Anise. It's… weird! And… dumb! I don't even like her just as a friend!" He disregarded the fact that he was the one who came up with the idea. "And besides, I'm not exactly what you'd call an expert in love." And here he raised his shoulders in a shrug.

_True that, _grumbled the voice. At this, Dib narrowed his eyes at the reflection. "And what's _that _supposed to mean?"

Then he heard knocks. "Dib, you idiot, we have to leave! Dad's not letting me leave the house until you're with me!" shouted the slightly muffled voice of his sister.

Dib sighed. He looked at the mirror.

He was going to go through with it.

_--_

Dib and Gaz walked side-by-side on the gray sidewalk, Gaz grimly silent and Dib, as usual, talking energetically.

"…and then he almost blew me up! It was kind of dumb, since we were in his lab, but Zim didn't even realize that his lab and himself could get caught up in the explosion. He really is stupid. But then his funny little robot came, and…"

Gaz's fist twitched. Luckily, or maybe not-so-luckily, for Dib, there was a shout behind them. "Hey! Gaz! Wait up!"

His sister halted without even turning around. Curiously, Dib looked behind him and… winced. There was Anise, calmly walking towards them.

_Do I have to start now? _he mentally whined. _I thought I had until skool starts, at least!_

But he forced a cheery smile on his face as Anise approached them. "Hey… Anise," Dib said, awkwardly raising a hand. Anise gave him a courteous nod and stood beside Gaz.

The two girls resumed walking, leaving an embarrassed-looking Dib behind.

"It's going to be a long day," grumbled Dib after his breath.

--

_Beginning of class_

Miss Bitters entered the classroom quietly, her footsteps barely making a sound. She glared at the class, especially Dib and Zim, who were busy chasing each other around the room, Zim ranting something about "filthy human lies." The rest of the class were talking idly, with the exception of Anise, who was watching the pair running around the room with slight interest.

"Quiet!" Immediately, the class fell silent. Zim and Dib paused, looking at the teacher with something akin to fear.

"Zim, Dib, to your seats," she ordered. Meekly, they trotted over to their chairs. "Now, class… today you will be learning about the innards of fish. You will each work with a partner to dissect one of these fish corpses--" and here she held up a pile of dead fish on a metal tray-- "with these tools." She indicated sets of sharp, dangerous-looking instruments on her desk.

"Partner…?" Dib raised up a shaky hand. "Miss Bitters…?"

"Yes, Dib?"

"…Could I work alone?" The boy stared at his teacher, hoping against hope that she would say 'yes.'

Miss Bitters scrutinized him with beady eyes. "No." Dib looked down in disappointment. The teacher turned around, examining each metal tool, making sure that they were still sharp. "Now go find partners." Most students immediately scrambled to find someone who was relatively normal, not-at-all insane, and likely to get them an A.

_Well, well, well… who do I work with? _Dib surveyed the class, his mouth doubtfully twisted, when a thin arm grabbed him from behind. A voice in his ear murmured, "You're working with me."

The first crazy thought that crossed Dib's mind was, _Zim?! _As such, he was about to throw the arm off, when a second crazy thought crossed his mind. _Is someone actually working with me of their own free will…?_

And the third was, _Anise?!_

He threw the arm off.

Indeed, it was Anise; she raised her eyebrows, a bemused look on her face as Dib turned around. He shrieked, "_I told you, don't sneak--" _

But then he stopped, remembering that he was supposed to pretend to like her. Dib growled under his breath. This was _seriously_ going to limit things. He forced a huge smile on his face.

And so he stood for a whole of ten seconds, that stupidly huge smile on his face.

"Uh… Dib?"

He blinked, the smile disappearing. Anise was gazing at him irritably.

"Could you please stop? You are creeping me out…" And the girl threw him a raised eyebrow, sitting down in a nearby chair.

_No no no, she wasn't supposed to be creeped out! How could I pretend to like her if she reacts like… this? _Dib managed not to pull his scythe of hair out in frustration. Instead, he sat down, reducing his grin by a couple of inches.

"Heh… sorry about that. I'm not used to people coming up to me and actually wanting--" Dib's mouth froze, and he continued slowly, _"… to… _be partners… with me." _Oh, god! _he thought in desperation. _She might think I'm pathetic! Or worse… she must think I'm pathetic! _

And sure enough, Anise put up a hand to her mouth as if to hide a smile. However, she was looking down at the desk, so Dib couldn't be sure. Squirming slightly in discomfort, he was saved from the rising awkwardness of the situation by, ironically, Miss Bitters's voice.

"Zim here is going to pass out the fish specimens. One partner, however, needs to get a set of tools." And she stilled Zim's squawks of protest ("What?! You do not command me, the greatness that is Zim! And I ref-yoose to touch any of these… _filthy, mackerel-type thingies!_") with a calm wave of her hand and a few soothing words ("If you don't want this scalpel in your head, Zim, I suggest you start passing out the fish now.")

Dib glanced questioningly at Anise, who stared back at him blankly. After a few moments, he sighed, mumbled, "I'll get it," and got up to collect the tools.

Just in time to turn around and see Zim seemingly deep in conversation with Anise.

The Irken looked unexpectedly (or maybe expectedly) animated, his black-gloved hands all over the air and a furious look on his green face. Anise wore a slight, interested smile, one hand playing with her black hair, and, at one point, broke into amused laughter, at which Zim's furious look was replaced with a smug smirk that grew even further as Anise said something to him, moving her hands in emphasis. The fish tray lay on Dib's desk, seemingly forgotten.

Dib stared in a mix of fascination, horror, anger, and…

… possibly a tiny bit of jealousy?

He shook his head a bit and marched over, holding the tray in front of him as if it was a shield. The two looked up at his approach, and Zim immediately screamed, "You! You are working with this Anees-creature?!"

Dib felt an unexplainable sinking in his heart. However, he replied defiantly, "Yeah, so what if I am?" _I wonder why he's so upset, _the boy thought, _about me working with Anise. Is he… jealous? Does he like Anise…?_

His heart sank even further, but Dib paid no attention to it.

No one took notice of Anise, who was watching the whole spectacle interestedly.

Zim twisted his mouth at Dib's reply, and merely narrowed his eyes in suspicion at the young paranormal investigator. After a few moments, the alien turned and walked away.

"Our fish, Zim!" called Dib, resisting the urge to throw a scalpel at the slender back of the Irken.

Without turning around, Zim threw a fish over his shoulder. It hit Dib directly in the face with a wet, plopping sound. The boy gave a disgusted groan and removed the fish body, holding it by his fingertips as if it were a bomb ready to explode at any moment.

"You're probably not very good at ball sports, are you?" commented Anise obliquely. Dib looked at her, annoyed. She raised her eyebrows and added, as if to revise her previous remark, "Scratch that, you're probably not good at _any _sports." She chuckled as Dib's glare intensified. He held the fish away from him and, clearing a place on the tool tray, plopped it down beside the instruments.

_--_

Okay… was this chapter actually… good? Is it? TELL ZIM! I mean… tell me… heh…

I would gladly take concrit! Very much!


	6. Hear Her Moans of Tragedy

Okay… I'm back… sorry for the long update. SORRY!! I'm simply horrible…

--

Dib watched Zim at lunchtime. He was grim, an unbendable observer.

Zim stared at him back. There was a strangely triumphant smirk curling on the Irken's face, and his eyes seem to glitter with hidden amusement.

Anise watched them both. However, instead of the usual quietly amused smile on her face, there was a frown.

What had she done? Quietly, she muttered, "Gaz."

Gaz, who was playing her Gameslave 2, gave a grunt that, Anise supposed, meant, "I'm listening."

The skeletal girl fidgeted. Then she whispered, keeping her eyes on Dib and Zim, "I made a mistake."

Gaz's eyes widened abruptly for one full second. Her fingers paused on the Gameslave, and, in a voice of deadly menace, she hissed, "Don't tell me you're backing out."

"What?" Anise's own eyes had widened; though she would never admit it, she did find Gaz to be _very_ intimidating. "No, no; I mean I made a mistake in the plan… I did something I shouldn't have done." She tried to make her voice calm, but there was a slight tremor in her voice.

"You did something you shouldn't have…?" Gaz's voice was slightly shaking in fury, and an eye twitched. "Anise… don't you remember how much this plan means to me…? What I could actually get out of it if it succeeds…?" And here she put down her Gameslave 2 and faced Anise, eyes venomously threatening. "And don't forget what you could get out of it if it fails…"

"Yes, yes, I know!" replied Anise hastily. "Just… just leave it all up to me! I could handle it."

Gaz paused. Then she picked up her Gameslave 2 again. "… You better hope so, for your sake," she muttered darkly.

Anise sighed, more out of relief than anything. "I know."

--

Zim walked out of school, his step light and his countenance cheerful. Dib watched him go, a slightly puzzled look on his face. "Zim seems awfully happy today," he mused aloud to himself. "Ever since this morning, actually…"

_Ever since he talked to Anise, actually… if Zim likes Anise, then that strengthens my plan, actually… if I pretend to like her, he would get rightfully jealous, and…_

But there was something Dib didn't like about that. Perhaps it was the 'pretending-to-like-Anise' part.

Yeah… that was it.

"Hey, Dib! Stop talking to yourself!" That… was unmistakably Gaz's voice. And sure enough, when Dib turned around, there was his sister, in all her purple-haired glory. Right beside her was Anise, in all her black-haired glory.

"Ah… hi, Gaz. Hi… Anise." Dib wondered how he could sound more enthusiastic about meeting the painfully thin girl. Perhaps a loud "Hi, Anise!" would do. But then that would probably be annoying. So maybe a cool, suave, "Hey."

Or… maybe he should just stick with what he had now.

Smiling, and knowing damned well that he probably looked like he was being force-fed congealed radioactive human blood, Dib walked up to the two girls. For some odd reason, the moment he reached them, Gaz walked away, her steps stiff and her hands swiftly opening her Gameslave, leaving Dib alone with Anise.

Joy.

"Um… why did Gaz just walk away?"

Anise shrugged. "I don't know. She's your sister."

"Yeah, she is… oh, well. She's Gaz."

"Yep."

"Mm-hm."

An awkward silence ensued. Dib awkwardly scratched the back of his head, and Anise awkwardly stared at him silently. An awkward wind blew, and a chihuahua awkwardly trotted past.

Suddenly, as if on a burst of inspiration, Anise blurted out, "Hey, want to go stalk Zim?"

"Huh?!" That _had _to be the last thing Dib was expecting from Anise… well, from anyone, actually. He stared at her disbelievingly. "What?"

Anise's face twisted, as if she had to force her next words out of her mouth. "I said, 'Want to go stalk Zim?'"

"What?"

"I said, 'Want to go stalk Zim?'"

"…what?"

"I said-- UGH! Never mind, just come with me!"

Anise started dragging Dib by the collar of his trench coat. "Come on," she ordered. "We're going to find Zim."

"But… but _why?" _Dib winced. He couldn't help but sound whiny.

"Isn't that what you _wa_-- I mean, because _Zim_ is an alien, and he's out to… destroy the world!" She coughed.

Dib looked at Anise. Was he hearing this right? He was so stunned that he failed to realize that the girl's cough was actually an attempt to cover up a laugh.

"You're… you're serious? Really?"

Anise nodded, her face _appearing_ serious indeed. But only appearing. Just… appearing.

Dib's face cleared, much like a sun breaking through the clouds. "Wow, this is great! Together, we'll vanquish the world of this alien menace! No longer will I be alone!" Dib shrugged Anise's hand off his collar and raised a finger up to the stars in a classical I-am-making-an-important-victorious-speech pose. "Working together, we will--" Then he paused and cast a suspicious eye at Anise. "Hey, you're not faking this, are you, like that guy Mr. Dwicky?"

Anise shook her head resolutely. She had no idea who Mr. Dwicky was, but oh, well.

"Okay, then." Dib raised an eyebrow at her. "Huh, I guess you're alright after all."

A bit of candor crept into Anise's voice. "What? Did you first think I _wasn't _all right?"

"Oh, no, no! What I meant was… er…" The boy looked desperately around. "Um… let's just go find Zim!"

"…fine," muttered Anise grudgingly.

She just wanted to get this over with.

--

"Oh! There he is…"

"That little alien freak, I'm going to rip his--"

"Whatever, Dib. Just shut up, and keep your sexual fantasies to yourself."

"Oka-- wait! I'm not--"

A sigh. "Aren't you going to take pictures of him?"

"He's too far away. Wait until he approaches this bush."

"…whatever."

Anise peered out from behind the bush and saw the small green figure that was Zim. She could hear indistinct yelling coming from him, and assumed that he must be talking aloud to himself again.

_He's as crazy as Dib, _Anise thought contemptuously. _They're both crazy._

Out loud, she remarked, "He's coming nearer…"

Dib stuck his head out of the bush to look. Out of the side of his mouth, he muttered, "Okay, Anise, when he comes, jump out of the bush and throw this water balloon at him." He produced a neon green balloon out of the pocket of his trench coat, handing it to Anise. In a gleeful voice, he added, "He'll be screaming in pain! I'll take a picture of him before _and _after the water hit him. And then, hit him with this rock. He'll be unconscious, and then we could remove his disguise--"

"Whoa, whoa, wait." The girl turned and stared at Dib oddly. "I'm not undressing him."

There was an immediate loud squawk of protest from Dib. "We're _not _undressing him! We're removing his disguise!"

"I-- okay, well--" Then Anise stopped. It won't really matter now, she supposed.

She ducked back into the bush. "Zim's closing in," she reported. Indeed, the Irken was approaching their bush at alarming speed.

"Five… four… three…" Dib intoned underneath his breath, peeking through the leaves at the approaching alien. "… two… one… Anise, go!"

What happened next had to be one of the most confusing moments that ever happened, and would _ever _happen, in Dib's life. The girl next to him did not jump out of the bush as he had instructed, but rather, she clamped a hand around Dib's mouth, effectively silencing him. She carefully pierced the water balloon with a fingernail, dropped it on the ground, leaving it to trickle water out uselessly, and started moaning.

"Oh, Dib, you animal! You're too much!" Suddenly she gave a giggle that was actually supposed to sound coy. "No, eek, you--! Oh, Dib, you silver-tongued devil!"

Eyes wide, Dib could only stare at the girl in growing mortification and bewilderment and let out a confused, "Mmmph…?"

Anise looked like she had swallowed a lemon. A rotten, worm-eaten lemon dipped in stomach acid.

What followed was even worse.

Anise latched herself onto his neck and-- Dib swore he heard her mutter, "Dear God, forgive me" underneath her breath-- kissed him full on the mouth.

"Mmmph…!"

He was suffocating. And fast. Dear God, was he going to die? No, he had so much to live for!

Dimly, he heard Zim exclaim, "Dib?! Is that you?"  
--

That may have been as confusing as heck. Or it may have been as clear as a clear-cut crystal.

Oh, well. I hope you enjoyed that, and once again, I'M SO VERY SORRY!

I'm hoping to have this story finish in a few more chapters or so… but plans almost never end up going the way one wishes them to.

Ah, well…


End file.
